November is Men’s Health Awareness Month in the UK, a time to highlight an often-overlooked aspect of well-being: men’s mental health. But it’s important to remember that the men in our life need support all year-round.
While we come together to focus on men’s physical health, such as prostate cancer and testicular cancer, mental health challenges like loneliness, depression, and suicide deserve equal attention. Due to the stigma and underrepresentation of men’s mental health, men are more likely to suffer in silence, and sadly, are more at risk of suicide than women.
As a psychologist, I want to shed light on these critical issues, provide some practical tips for men to navigate difficult times, and encourage all of us—friends, family members, colleagues—to be more proactive in checking in on the men in our lives.
The Reality of Men’s Mental Health
Many men and boys face unique pressures and stigma surrounding mental health. There’s often pressure to “man up” or be the strong one to meet social expectations. Some men don’t open up to each other, feeling the need to hide their emotions from others. And for some, admitting to a mental health struggle may feel like admitting weakness or a lack of masculinity. Research shows that men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues, often due to fear of judgment or the belief that they should “tough it out.”
But the truth is, mental health challenges are not signs of personal failure or weakness, and ignoring emotional struggles can have serious consequences. In the U.S., men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women. This is a stark reminder of how important it is to address mental health early and openly.
Signs to Watch Out For
It’s not always easy to tell when a man is struggling, but there are some signs to watch for:
- Changes in behavior: Becoming withdrawn, irritable, or angry.
- Withdrawal from social activities: Avoiding friends, family, or hobbies that they once enjoyed.
- Physical symptoms: Headaches, sleep problems, or changes in appetite can often be linked to emotional distress.
- Substance use: Increased drinking or drug use can be a sign of struggling emotionally.
- Talk of hopelessness: Phrases like “I’m not sure I can handle this anymore” or “Things would be better if I wasn’t here.”
If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to take them seriously and offer support.
How to Check In on the Men You Care About
If you’re concerned about someone, reaching out can make a huge difference. Here are some easy ways to check in with the men in your life:
- Start the conversation: Most times all it takes is asking, “How are you really doing?” Let them know that you’re open to listening without judgment. It can be easier for them to open up when someone else makes the first step.
- Listen more than you talk: People struggling, including men and boys, just need someone to listen. Offer your full attention and let them share their thoughts and feelings at their own pace. Ask them questions and show genuine care and interest in them.
- Offer help without pushing: Offer resources like therapy, support groups or a helpline they can call, but respect their boundaries. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter what.
- Stay in touch: Try to regularly check in with them. Invite them for a movie, sports, or just stay in with them watching tv. Even a simple “I’m thinking of you” or “How are you doing today?” text can remind someone they’re not alone, even if they’re not ready to open up just yet.
Tips for Men: How to Handle Difficult Times
- Reach out for support: It’s okay to not be okay. Whether it’s talking to a friend, family member, or therapist, reaching out for help can make a big difference. You’re not weak for seeking support—you are strong for being sincere and wanting to get better.
- Prioritize self-care: Make time for the things that relax and recharge you—whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or spending time in nature. Taking care of your body and relaxation are closely tied to your mental health.
- Be mindful of stress: Stress is inevitable, but how you manage it can make all the difference. Practice meditation, go for runs, and have good boundaries around work, time for yourself and what you need from others.
- Challenge negative thinking: Depression often comes with negative thoughts about oneself. Try to replace these with more balanced thoughts. Journaling or talking to a therapist or a friend can help you get perspective.
- Know the warning signs: If you ever feel like you’re struggling more than you can handle, or having thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to someone immediately—whether it’s a professional or a loved one. Your life matters.
Takeaways
Ultimately, addressing men’s mental health is not just about raising awareness for a single month—it’s about creating a culture where mental well-being is prioritized every day. By acknowledging that mental health is just as important as physical health, we can help reduce the stigma and encourage men to seek the support they need without fear of judgment.
Whether you’re struggling yourself or you’re concerned about someone close to you, remember that support is available. Taking the first step towards mental health care is a powerful act of self-care. And for those who are in a position to support others—whether as friends, family members, or colleagues—your willingness to check in, listen without judgment, and offer encouragement can truly make a difference.
Sarah Turc
Psychologist